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The perks and pitfalls of working abroad
The Romanian Government as of late has endorsed a bill meant to regulate the prevention activity targeting children's separation from their families. The text mainly deals with the vulnerable communities, in need of permanent support because of that. Such families live on very limited means, which prompts quite a few members of those families to leave Romania for a better-paid job. But that has dramatic emotional implications for the children that have been left behind.
Many parents opt for sacrificing their children's emotional balance and leave Romania for a job abroad. Crippled by their parents' lack of affection, some of the children develop abnormal patterns of behaviour. They have school problems, they're quick to rebel for no reason. The school is unable to manage such crises and neither are the other members of the family. Upon their return home, the children the parents find are totally different from the ones they' d left behind when they left the country.
And at this point, the law intervenes, or is supposed to intervene. According to the Government's spokesperson, Dan Carbunaru, the bill will enable the implementation of a set of measures meant to prevent separation. Therefore, such families will be granted emergency aid. The aforementioned bill is the foundation act for the National Child Observer. It is an informatics module, to be included in the National Informatics System. In plain speak, the local public authorities will be able to access the updated situation of the families whose children face the risk of separation. The bill also stipulates measures targeting the rehabilitation of children with disabilities, psychological and psychotherapy intervention services for these children.
And that, because our children's psychological and emotional development should be treated very seriously. We're highly likely to run the risk of dragging behind childhood traumas all our lives. If we don't do anything about it in time, we'll find it even harder to do something about it later.
Psychologists are capable of telling the fear of separation from the separation anxiety. Elena Maria Dumitrescu is a psychotherapist in cognitive-behavioural problems. Here she is, explaining the difference between the separation fear and the separation anxiety.
"I believe it is important for us to be able to tell the fear of separation from the separation anxiety. Ever since we are born, we need safety, which makes the newly-born and the infant, respectively, to manifest the fear of separation from the attachment person. The process we all go through in our early experience is a natural one. The thing is how we go through that stage, and that is connected to the way significant people in our lives fulfil our emotional, but also our material needs."
Therefore, the fear of abandonment is the newly-born and the infant's greatest fear. The way the parents express their affection is vital for their balanced development.
We're well aware of how vulnerable children in such communities are, given that parents go at all lengths to be able to face the conundrum: should they first provide for their children, sacrificing them emotionally, or should they first give them love but have them feel the pinch and the discomfort or a life in poverty? So strong may be the ensuing emotional outburst, that nobody is capable to sort it out.
Psycho-therapist Elena Maria Dumitrescu tells us how the children's behaviour may degenerate, when they do not receive their parents' affection.
"Certain events, but also failing to properly fulfil such needs, can be perceived by children as unsafety, so they're sure to move from the fear of separation to the separation anxiety, thus generating a low-grade control of perceived reality. You can see that happening with the children who limit their own opportunities to explore the environment, to develop new abilities, to cope with certain new challenges or to ask for help. In certain situations, the children are separated from their families and they will perceive the physical but also the emotional distancing from people in their lives whom they hold most dear. And that leads up to an increasingly low tolerance of uncertainty, a mechanism underlying the state of anxiety and its symptoms. "
How the programs the Government seeks to implement in the vulnerable communities, that still remains to be seen. For the time being, please note that is the south-eastern county of Tulcea alone, over 300 children on the brink of separation have been offered aid through a European project carried by the Romania SERA Foundation. The figure of 300 exceeds the initially-envisaged number of children, which only stands proof of the fact that such programs must develop in our country. (EN)
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