Women overcome domestic violence

Domestic violence and its expression on stage

Christine Leșcu, 29.03.2023, 14:00

Discussions about domestic or gender
violence by and large focus on physical or body traces the partner’s blows left
on the other’s body. However, each time, such blows come with their
psychological aftermath as well. The psychological violence the abused women
are subject to, on a daily basis, is less talked about. We should not forget
domestic violence is dealt with in the legislative system and is the main cause
of the stumbling block the victims needs to overcome if they want to drag
themselves out of that toxic relation. Psychological violence is the main topic
of Restart, a play written by Ozana Nicolau who also stage-directed it at the
Replika Educational Center in Bucharest. Inspired from the stories of victims
who succeeded to free themselves of the abusive relations, Restart is a stage
performance that benefitted from the collaboration with such NGOs as I Choose,
based in Sibiu and Anais, based in Bucharest. Furthermore, playwright Ozana Nicolau recalled
episodes fin her childhood when she heard about women she knew being beaten by
their husbands or concubines. Ozana was wondering why no adult had any reaction
to help those women or condemn the situation. At the moment, the Romanian legislation
stipulates, among other things, a temporary restraining order issued against the
attacker, police intervention in the wake of a simple emergency call. As we
speak, the victims benefit from much more help from the authorities and the NGOS,
yet the emotional abuse still keeps the victim prisoner of the noxious relation
for a long time. Restart is a play about how to overcome that kind of violence.

Stage director Ozana Nicolau, dwelling on that herself:

Physical violence is the one that is visible, it is blatant, it is punished
by the law. Yet it is possible, as there is that kind of emotional violence
that cannot be seen and which is not punished by the law. That is very hard to
prove. And that’s where our idea started from: let us see what happens in the
mind of a woman who, even though she has a lot to suffer from, she still feels
guilty. She is often manipulated so she can feel guilty or powerless, so she
can feel she cannot quit, she has no solutions. And I found it important to
render the fact that sometimes our mind can play tricks on us and that sometimes
it can be our hindrance. Of course, when we regain our strength, it is also the
mind that helps us snap out of it, and rebuild everything from scratch.

There are only two characters in the play, featuring
actresses Mihaela Rădescu and Nicoleta Lefter. The latter will be telling us
what prompted her to play the role of the victim, initially, and then the role
of a woman who eventually overcame gender violence.

First
of all, it was Ozana’s offer, I wanted so much to work with her and with
actress Mihaela Rădescu. And the topic also attracted me,
since it was a topic that needed to have a voice. And it is true that in state theaters
there are not that many stage performances with such a discourse. Then the
stories were deeply touching for me and, indeed, having read them, I also got
to meet some of those women, since they came to the show. And yes, I find that
very important. It seems to me it is a step that needs to be taken and
supported. And you also take a great responsibility, knowing the stories are true,
those women do exist and they came to see the show. You realize your gestures matter
a lot, as we speak. When you’re on stage telling their story, you feel the
energy coming from the audience.

It is true the show has
the gift of generating the spectators’ empathy for the victim’s trials and
tribulations. And actress Nicoleta Lefter was in turn moved by some of the episodes
rendered on stage and experienced by some of the abused women.

I
was impressed by the testimonies. One is that of the woman who says that after
the separation or the divorce occurred, for a good many years her husband harassed
her with lawsuits he filed against her, against the friends who helped her,
against parents and policemen. Which means everything doesn’t end in separation
alone. That, for me, is an ordeal. And the worst thing was that it was not only
the woman who had the trauma. When there are also children involved, I find
that a lot more serious, as they don’t know how to get over that. You, as an
adult, can somehow succeed to overcome the moment, but for a child, that can be
pretty bad because it can leave scars for the rest of their lives. And,
perhaps, if things are not discussed and solved correctly, children themselves
can end up being aggressors or even victims.

Restart is not Ozana Nicolau’s
debut stage performance inspired from social realities. A few years ago she stage-directed Foreplay, a play also written by Ozana, about adolescent mothers, and also presented by Replika Educational Center. This kind of theater,
socially anchored, comes as a modality to draw attention to some problems occurring
quite often in the day-to-day life. Does something like that at have any impact?

Ozana Nicolau once again:

I think the impact does
exist. In earnest, of course it is much less strong than we would have wanted
it to be, as a theater hall has several dozen or even several hundred seats, if the hall is bigger. Yet the message is conveyed since people carry on and
speak with colleagues at work, with friends, with their families. To give you
an example, the other day I received very positive feedback from a woman spectator
who came with her 14-year-old son who initially didn’t want to go to the theater.
He still had the impression theater meant just theater for children or puppet theater.
And then he came over, saw the Restart stage performance and said If that’s what
theater means, I want more of it . And I found that extraordinary, the fact that
he came and he liked it, even though it is a pretty difficult topic for his
age. I think people want to see topics that are fleshed out from their
day-to-day life. I don’t think they can find, in a theater show, the specific
solution to their problem, but I think they may find a direction, a way of
looking at things, or at least an encouragement, the hope things can also be done
differently and that they need to know they’re not alone.

Another message that
came from a pre-teen, who was also a spectator for Restart, was to thank his
mother for bringing him over to a theatre show where he saw something he didn’t
want to become: and abusive husband and an abusive father.(EN)